Robot Chicken:Wii would like to Brawl
by Pikazilla
Summary: To celebrate the release of brawl, Robot Chicken made a episode showing how brawl rules. And don't forget, the FALCON PUNCH!
1. Olimar's problems with Captain Falcon

Olimar is fighting a giant ROB.

**Olimar** I don't know why this is the only giant rob in the entire game, but I can't defeat it.

**Blue Pikmin **Maybe, instead of using pikmin throw, use an attack that can flinch the guy.

**Olimar **There's 90 pikmin on him, and he's not moving. Wait, I must be winning!

ROB shakes off the pikmin, killing most of them.

**Olimar** Oh crap. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

**Red Pikmin** Hey boss.

**Olimar** What?

**Red Pikmin** It's Megaman! He's in Brawl!

**Olimar** Really?

**Red Pikmin** No, it's just a car… that's coming right for us…

Captain Falcon jumps out of his car.

**Captain Falcon** _FALCON PUNCH!!_

Captain Falcon defeats the ROB and kills all the pikmin except the red pikmin near Olimar.

**Falcon** Show me your moves, asshole.

**Olimar** YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE!!

**Falcon **Why?

**Olimar **Oh, so killing 50 of my pikmin isn't a bad thing?

**Red Pikmin** YOU KILLED MY WIFE!!

**Olimar **She was a 20 dollar whore.

**Red Pikmin** Exactly.

**Falcon **Easy dude, just get some more pikmin.

**Olimar **I still don't approve of this…

Olimar plucks 5 pikmin.

**Falcon** Why do you only have 6 pikmin?

**Olimar **I don't want you to kill them all. With less pikmin, there are less pikmin deaths.

**Falcon** _FALCON PUNCH!!_

Captain Falcon kills 5 of Olimar's pikmin.

**Olimar** WILL YOU STOP THAT!?

**Falcon** Sorry. Oh, look over there!

Olimar walks towards a Cliffside and sees a ship.

**Olimar** Ok, there's a ship.

Captain Falcon grabs Olimar.

**Falcon** Let's go.

**Olimar **What?

Falcon and Olimar jump off the cliff and land on the ship.

**Olimar** WHAT THE XXXX IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

**DK** Dude, if Captain Falcon told you to jump off a cliff, would you?

**Olimar** Never again…

**Falcon** Let's do it again!

**Olimar and Red pikmin** XXXX YOU!!


	2. Meta Knight vs Marth

Meta Knight vs Marth

**Meta Knight** Ok, do an item match. We can only use items from our universes. For example, I can only use Kirby items and you can only use fire emblem items.

**Marth **Agreed.

The two swordsman fight.

**Meta Knight** I'm badly hurt. I'll just use this maximum tomato.

Meta Knight is healed.

**Meta Knight** My attacks are too weak. I'll just use this spicy curry.

Meta Knight eats the curry.

**Meta Knight** HOT HOT!!

**Marth** Where are my items. Why do you get all your items? (pause) Wait… I don't have any items!

**Meta Knight** And I just got the last Dragoon piece.

**Marth **What? I get nothing and you… wait, where did you (ko) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Marth respawns.

**Meta Knight** Ok, I won. Now you have to do that dance with me.

**Marth** How do I do the dance?

**Meta Knight** The Caramel or Caramelldansen is performed by shaking your hips like crazy for 3 hours. Ready?

Marth and Meta Knight dance like crazy.

_Oh whoa whoa-o_

_Dan sunny-os_

_Clappa here-a ham-ay_

_Your some-ay yours_

_Dora tell the belt-ay_

_You smell like_

_pizza and a crumb and_

_live and a a_

_Caramelldansen_

_O o o-wha-aoh_

_O o o-wha-aoh a-oh_

_O o o-wha-aoh_

_O o o-wha-aoh a-oh_


	3. Final Smash Petey Piranha

Kirby is fighting Petey Piranha.

**Kirby** I don't know why you kidnapped the princesses, but I do think it involves rape.

**Petey** Who told you that?

A smashball appears.

**Kirby** Look! A smash ball!

**Petey** What? Where? This would be so much easier if I had eyes.

Petey swings his cages like crazy and hits the smashball.

**Petey **Nice, now I can perform my ultimate attack!

Petey's final smash… _Ipecac_

**Petey** What's Ipecac?

A bottle appears.

**Petey **Uh… I guess I should drink this bottle.

Petey drinks it.

**Petey** Well, that did nothing. (pause) Hey Kirby, do you know any sexy chicks? I don't mean anyone that looks like you, I mean (PUKE).

**Kirby **Whoa! (pause) Dude, you ok?

**Petey** I don't (PUKE). (Panting) Now I know how Peter Griffin felt when he drank Ipecac.

**Kirby** Oh yeah. 'Who wants chowder!?'

Petey pukes again.

**Kirby** I got an idea….

Kirby calls over Wario.

**Kirby** Do your thing.

Wario farts in Petey's face.

**Wario** Smell the Wario goodness!

Petey pukes.

**Wario and Kirby** Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat…

Petey pukes until he gets knocked out.

**Kirby **Finally, I won!

**Wario** And I got a sexy woman!

Wario steals one of the princesses. Kirby blocks his path.

**Kirby** You're not leaving, rapist!

**Wario** Well, you better be leaving.

**Kirby **Why? (pause) Oh yeah, the bomb.

Kirby and a princess fly away on the warpstar while the bomb explodes.

**Kirby** Wait, where's Petey? Ah, screw him.


	4. Why can't we be friends

SSBB, the musical

SSBB, the musical!!

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Toon link:** Why do I have to fight this weird Robot(R.O.B.)?

**Sonic:** I do not know, but Samus is so hot!

(Amy Rose beats the crap out of him)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Wario:** I like to eat my Lay's Potato Chips.

**Olimar:** (Performing his final smash) I like blowing up my priceless spaceships!

(Boom)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Mario:** Third Party guys are the ones I so hate!

**Sonic:** Well, you (Mario)guys outnumber us 2 to 8.

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be cows?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Marth:** I miss Roy and I also miss Mewtwo.

**Pikachu:** I miss Dr. Mario and Pichu.

(both start crying and hugging each other)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Sheik:** Why don't we stop this fight and have some lunch?

**Captain Falcon:** I'll rather kill you with my **FALCON PUNCH!!**

(Sheik got ko-ed)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Mr.G&W:** (looks at Toon Link and Ganon) Why do we even need these clones at all?

**Fox/Falco/Wolf:** (All are performing their final smashes) We need 3 **Landmasters** for Smash Bros Brawl!

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we eat cake?

Why can't we be friends?

**Pokemon Trainer:** Why don't I have Deoxys or Darkrai?

**Rob:** (looks at some food) How can I even eat this pizza pie?

Why…… can't……. we be friends?

Why - can't - we - be friends?

Why - can't - we - be friends?

Why - can't - we - be friends?

(Everyone but sonic and snake does the can-can)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we………. be………….. friends!!

(A nuke kills all the dancers) (Snake is on a chopper)

**Colonial Roy:** I told you nuking them was a better idea.

**Snake:** Well, not all of them died. One of them saw the airplane and ran away from the blast site.

**Roy:** It doesn't matter if someone ran away, the nuke would still kill him, no one can run that fast.

**Snake:** Well… I think you forgot sonic. He ran 15 miles away from ground zero, meaning he was untouched.

**Roy: **Well, at least he's far away from you now. We can kill him later.

**Snake:** How fast can this chopper fly?

**Roy:** About 200mph. Why Snake?

**Snake:** That explains it.

**Roy:** Explains what, Snake?

**Snake:** Sonic is running under my chopper. I think he's trying to jump onto it. What should I do Roy?

**Roy:** Uhh…. End transmission.

**Snake:** ROY!!

(Sonic destroys the chopper)


	5. Dr Wright is soooo wrong

**Dr.Wright **I can see that you smashers have trouble getting along. In fact, you attempt to kill each other whenever you get the chance. You even use lightsabers, bombs, plasma rifles and… M-Mr.Saturns? Well, we're gonna put everyone in pairs to make it easier. When you are in pairs, pretend to be the partner next to you.

**Fox & Wolf**

**Fox **Where's Dr. Mario?

**Dr.Wright** He was killed by a health condition that even he couldn't cure… a broken heart. Oh, and herpes, a lot of herpes.

**Fox **Ok… How do we do this again?

**Wright **Pretend to be Wolf. Start with 'I'm Wolf, and I…'

**Fox **I… I still don't…

**Wolf** Let me start. I'm Fox, and I have a laser gun that can't kill the guy I'm shooting. I hang out with Diddy Kong because I have no life but I love primates with no pants. Don't be fooled by my damn sexy girlfriend, Krystal, I'm actually a fat homo.

**Fox **Well, I'm Wolf, and I'm just another pathetic clone that no one needs. I even have a Landmaster just like Fox.

**Wolf **My Landmaster is different.

**Fox** But it's a Landmaster. What, you couldn't get a better final smash?

**Wolf **Landmasters own all!!

**Peach & Zelda**

**Zelda** I'm Peach, the lazy ass princess that has only a small army of baby Toads to defend myself from Bowser's army of Boos, Koopas, Goombas and Banzai Bills. A middle age plumber walks around the world trying to find me in a castle without taking a plane or driving a car, and would it kill him to ask for directions? Do you know how much Bowser rapes me? Why doesn't he just get a girlfriend that isn't a dumb blonde like me? And even though I can't defend myself from anything, I became a fighter in SSBM, how does that work? I also don't wear pants, so you perverts can see my ass.

**Peach **Ok, mine turn. I'm… I'm… uh….

**Zelda **It's Zelda.

**Peach **Yeah, Zelda. I'm Zelda, a sexy chick that can transform into the sexiest chick around, Sheik. People think I'm a male but they don't pay attention to my sexy ass. I'm pretty hot.

**Zelda **I don't think calling me sexy is considered an insult.

**Peach **I also have powerful magic that can kick ass.

**Zelda** That's a good thing… Dumb blonde.

**Peach **I'm pretty damn powerful.

**Zelda **You're very bad at this.

**Pit & ROB**

**ROB** My name is Pit, and I'm a pathetic angel that commands flying dwarfs that die once they attack. I only had two games that no one cares about.

**Pit **Looks who's talking…

Rob stares at him.

**ROB** I'm too girly to be voiced by a man, so they give me a lame voice actress.

**Pit** You mean Lani Minella? Dude, she was in World of Warcraft, Diablo series, she was the original voice for that sexy bat from Sonic, what was it… Rouge? Wait, what's this?

Pit presses the self destruct button on ROB's back.

**ROB **WTF!! (BOOM)

**Kirby & Pikachu**

**Kirby **Piyo

**Pikachu** Pika

Piyo

Pika Pi Pi. Pikachu!

Piyo? Piyo.

Pika?

Hi!

Pi….

**Dr.Wright** I'm still getting paid.

**Mario & Sonic**

**Sonic** Mama Mia, I'm-a Mario. I work in Japan even though I'm-a Italian. My overweight body and the fact that I'm low tier in SSBB doesn't get rid of the fact that there are 8 Mario characters. I don't want any 3rd party characters, but the fans just ruin the fun. However, I'll just have one fighter from each 3rd party universe even if one of those universes are just as popular as mine! I'll also prevent the sexy babes from those universes for making a sticker or trophy cameo so people will pay less attention to those videogame series. Do you see a Rouge the Bat trophy? NO! You got a Cream trophy, you got the chao trophy, YOU GOT A JET TROPHY. No one cares about Jet, he sucks. But you don't have a Rouge trophy? What is wrong with you Nintendo? Go XXXX yourself!

**Mario** Whao!

**Dr Wright** What about you Mario?

**Mario** Mama miah. Hmm…

**Sonic** Don't bother, most of the Mario characters can only say a sentence by using a text box.

**Dr Wright** Good point. Next!

**Samus & Snake**

**Samus** Hold up, this is freakin' gay. I'm not doing it.

**Snake **Yeah, we want to do something else.

**Wright** Fine, complain about your partner.

**Snake** Samus, do you know what I think about you?

**Samus **What?

**Snake **(sings) Samus is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,

She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,

She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,

She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

**Samus **SHUT YOUR FXXXING MOUTH SNAKE!!

Samus punches Snake.

**Snake **OW! Hey don't hit me! I have a rocket launcher.

**Samus** I have a rocket launcher hand.

**Snake **Oh… Excuse me, can you hold onto this?

**Samus** Sure.

Snake runs away.

**Samus** Wait, what is this? It looks like a grenade. Wait, WHAT?

The grenade explodes in Samus' face.

**Samus** SNAKE!!

Samus sees a box.

**Samus **That's it…IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER

Samus uses Zero Laser and destroys the box. Samus is now Zamus (zero suit samus).

**Wright** Zamus, you shouldn't be destroying my building.

After a short pause, Zamus shoots Dr.Wright.

**Zamus **You didn't see anything.

Snake, who wasn't in the box, sneaks up behind Zamus and breaks her neck.

**Snake** Did… did I kill her? Well, now I can XXXX that tight ass.

Sonic appears.

**Sonic** WTF?

**Snake** Uh… Well, there's no other sexy chicks. Krystal is a trophy, I can't XXXX her. Wasn't there some sexy bat in your games?

**Sonic **Rouge? Yeah! She was HOT. (Why is she so popular in this chapter?) That's one busty chick. There's no one as sexy as her.

Amy Rose appears (with her hammah).

**Amy **What was that sonic?

**Sonic** Oh… uh… Hi Amy! I got to go… uh… somewhere….

Sonic runs away.

**Amy **SONIC!!

**Snake **Ok…


	6. Newcomer ULTIMATE CHIMERA

newcomer

Newcomer

ULTIMATE CHIMERA

Special Abilities- any projectile that hits the button on his back will stun him for about 3 seconds.

B-Bite downB-Crunch sideB-Maul upB-fly

Final Smash-Ultimate Bite

Bite-A bite similar to the one in New Pork City 50 damage

Crunch-Chargeble attack similar to Dedede's down B, but doesn't decrease health 220

damage (max)

Maul-Dash attack that bites opponent similar to Bowser's side b (melee only) 30+30+30+40 damage

Fly-Chimera flies, similar to Pit's up B. Does no damage.

Ultimate bite-Chimera's mouth covers entire stage; chimera then bites 10,000,000 damage.

Running speed-Slow

Slowest walking speed

Floaty

Light

All attacks give high knockback


	7. Olimar's problems with drowning

Olimar and Samus are drowning.

**Olimar** Help! I'm drowning!

**Samus **Help! I'm drowning!

**Squirtle **Uh, what are you doing?

**Olimar** Oh, just enjoying the view… GET US OUT OF THE WATER!!

**Squirtle** But, you're wearing spacehelmets. You should have plenty of air.

**Samus** But, we're drowning!

**Squirtle **You mean, there's no oxygen in your helmets?

**Olimar** You breath oxygen? What the hell is your problem? Oxygen is highly poisonous.

**Pokemon Trainer** Oh, yeah… sure. Oxygen is gonna kill us. yeah… yeah…. ARE YOU FXXXING RETARDED?!

Olimar and Samus drown.

**Squirtle **Oh crap! I got to save them.

Squirtle jumps into the water, but starts drowning.

**Squirtle** HELP! I'M DROWNING!

**Pokemon Trainer **You are the worst Squirtle I have ever seen.

Squirtle drowns. A blue pikmin saves Olimar and brings him back to the shore.

**Olimar** Oh… thanks dude. How can I repay you?

Dedede appears.

**Dedede** I gonna beat yah up with my hammer. I could of have a giant axe or a giant sword or even a chaingun, but the FCC can only give me a hammer.

**Olimar** AH! Blue pikmin, use Hyper Beam!

**Pokemon Trainer** Wrong game dude.

**Olimar** What are you waiting for? Go!

Olimar tosses the pikmin. Dedede crushes the pikmin with his hammer.

**Dedede** Before I thrash you, why you do have a helmet?

**Olimar **Dude, this atmosphere is covered in oxygen. That's a deadly gas… for my species.

**Dedede **Really?

Dedede taps his helmet until he makes a crack.

**Olimar** YOU MOTHER F… f….

Olimar faints. His head explodes.

**Dedede** Wow… that must suck…


	8. Zamus's video

Falco Man, I have like, no girlfriends

**Falco **Man, I have like, no girlfriends. I need to get laid, or jack off, or something. Wait, that's it. I must go find a sexy youtube video.

Falco is on the computer.

**Falco **Wow, here's one. Samus shows off her rack. It has like, 100,000 views. This got to be good. (click) Wait, I can't hear anything. I need to adjust the volume.

Falco turns up the volume to the max.

**Falco **Ah man, even at the max, I can't hear it well. OMG! SHE'S UNDRESSING! Oh, yeah… Oh…

**RickRoll **NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!

**Falco** OMG! THAT'S LOUD!!

**Computer** You just got _**Rick Roll'd!!**_

**Falco **Oh, come on! WTF?

Fox runs into the room.

**Fox** I heard a loud noise. What just happened?

**Falco **(crying) I… I… I JUST GOT _**RICK ROLL'D!!**_

**Fox **Wow, dude… that must suck. I don't know anything else that is worse than that.

**Captain Falcon** I do! _**FALCON PUNCH!!**_

KO!!

**Captain Falcon** Show me your moves!

Captain Falcon looks at the computer.

**Captain Falcon** Oh, yeah. Show me your boobs!

_**RICK ROLL'D**_


	9. Future plans

Hello, and welcome to On The Spot, Gamespot's interview show. We're here with the characters from SSBB to see what their future will be like. Let's start with Mario.

**Gamespot Guy** What do you plan in your future?

**Mario **Mama mia. Well, we are gonna make some low budget games. The games will be made at the last second and will have characters with poor designs, maybe even worse than early gamecube games. We'll just put the game in a certain category that everyone knows. We're already planning a Mario kart game, and you can't play as two people like in Double Dash. We are also replacing Petey Pirahna with baby Daisy.

**Gamespot** That's stupid

**Mario** But cheap. Everyone will buy it. Even if they hate it, it doesn't matter because I'm-a getting a lot of coins.

**Gamespot** Don't you want dollar bills?

**Mario** What am I gonna do with dollar bills?

**Gamespot** And now, here's Olimar. Captain Olimar, what do you plan in your future?

There's no one else in the room.

**Gamespot** Where's Captain Olimar?

**Camera Guy** He's near your coffee mug.

**Gamespot **AH! Ants!

**Camera** No! That's Olimar.

**Gamespot **Oh, I see him. Why is he so small?

**Camera** Why don't I get a raise?

**Olimar** Well, if you're asking about Pikmin 3, I am not confirming anything nor am I denying anything.

**Gamespot **Oh come on, please?

**Olimar **If I told you, I would have to kill you.

**Gamespot** With what?

**Olimar** (pause) You win this time, but if you find out anything about Pikmin 3, you are so dead.

**Gamespot** And now, here is Ash…

**Pokemon Trainer** MY NAME IS NOT ASH!!

**Gamespot **So… what is it?

**Pokemon **Uh… it varies.

**Gamespot** Ok… so what about the future of pokemon?

**Pokemon **The next game series will be the 5th generation. We'll have about 80 new pokemon and 20 new legendary pokemon.

**Gamespot** 20? Isn't that pushing it too far?

**Pokemon **Nah. People like legendaries so we're putting a lot in this game. However, you need gameshark to get 5 of the them because they are too powerful. Also, the new female protagonist will have even shorter pants.

**Gamespot **Shorter than Dawn's pants, or dress, or whatever you call it.

**Pokemon **Yep, shorter than that.

**Gamespot** I see, and what's the rating of this game?

**Pokemon** E rating.

**Gamespot **But, this new protagonist will have extremely short pants, how do you…

**Pokemon** What? Oh, that. Well our company is a master of censorship, even though they didn't start so good with the anime. I'm still getting angry letters about Porygon.

**Gamespot** Ok, that's it for tonight's show, next week, Wii Play 2. A game that will sell even better than Smash Brothers Brawl despite having 5 levels that only last 2 minutes each.


	10. Dragon Brawl Z

Sonic is fighting DK and Wolf.

**Sonic** I have no choice, I must use my ultimate technique.

The seven chaos emeralds appear.

**Sonic **_SEVEN DRAGON BALLS_, oh wait, _SEVEN CHAOS EMERALDS_, lend me your POWER!!

Sonic becomes Super Sonic.

**DK **Oh crap, he's a super saiyan. Vegeta…

**Wolf **It's Wolf.

**DK **Whatever, what does your scooter.

**Wolf **Scouter!

**DK** Fine, what does your scouter say about his powah level?

**Wolf **IT'S OVER 9000!!

**DK** hm… uh, you did it wrong.

**Wolf** What do you mean?

**DK **Well, when Fox did it, it looked cooler. I'll call him over. Fox!

**Fox **What?

**DK** Do the 9000 thing.

Fox performs his up B.

**Fox** IT'S OVER 9000!!

**DK** That's better.

**Wolf** Wait, you're telling me that I have to light myself on fire just so I can do it correctly?

**DK** Yes. Infact, you shouldn't be here. You're a clone of Falco, who is a clone of Fox. We can't give our clones family trees, or something like that. Lucario!

**Lucario **What?

**DK** Get rid of Wolf.

**Lucario** I'm not strong enough, someone has to beat the crap out of me so I can get stronger.

**Fox** How does that work out?

**DK **Just do it…

**Lucario** Ok…

Lucario flies into the air and performs his final smash.

**Lucario** _KAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!_

Wolf is ko-ed.

**Ness** You know you guys, you shouldn't be doing those things. That's plagiarizing.

**Lucario** First, no one gives a crap about you Ness. Second, my final smash isn't plagiarizing.

**Ness **Why?

**Lucario **Because, I am Goku.

**Fox** For the last time, being voiced by Sean Schemmel doesn't make you Goku.

**Lucario **Don't make me kill you with my blue fireballs.

**Fox **Dude, I can just reflect the attack back onto you.

**Lucario** Fine, I'll kill Ness.

**Ness** No… I'll just absorb the attack.

**Lucario** FINE! I'll kill DK with my fireballs.

**Yoshi **FIREBALLS, YUM!!


	11. Kick you in the Smash Balls

Mario I herd u like fireballs

Luigi performs his final smash. He is having trouble standing up.

**Luigi** hey, uh… whoa!

**Mario** Luigi, what's wrong?

**Luigi **I… I had a lot of crack.

**Mario** Are you ok?.

**Luigi** I zeen cattle rocks. _Mama Luigi _has_ lots of spaghetti._

**Mario** (pause) What?

**Luigi** Come and join the dancinness.

**Mario** Dancingness isn't a real word.

**Luigi** I said dancing Ness.

Ness is in the negative zone, constantly doing his taunt.

**Ness** Ok, Ok, Ok.

**Luigi **That taunt never gots old.

**Mario **I'm leaving.

Mario finds Yoshi.

**Mario** Hey Yoshi, I herd u like fireballs.

**Yoshi** i herd u liek mudkips.

**Mario** Don't tell me that you are on crack too. But do you want some fireballs?

**Yoshi** FIREBALLS! YUM!

Mario performs his final smash, ko ing Yoshi and burning of Zero Suit Samus's sexy blue suit.

**Samus** YOU BURNED OFF MY ZERO SUIT!!

**Mario** Mama mia, no wonder it's called a zero suit. Screw Peach, I like your sexy, naked body.

**Samus** That's it, prepare for my final smash!

Samus puts her armor on.

**Mario** Well…

**Samus** Well what?

**Mario** Where's your final smash?

**Samus** That was it…

**Mario** Wow, you suck.

**Samus** That's it, _IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER_!!

Samus performs her cool final smash, the Zero Laser.

**Samus** Ok, why does my suit always fall of?

**Diddy Kong** Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey do you!

Octopus (Mr.Game and Watch) kos Diddykong.

**Octopus** Out of the way, I am going to tentacle rape Samus with my 2 dimensional body.

**Samus** I didn't know Octopuses can live on land.

**Octopus** Uh… Oh no!

Octopus dies from lack of air and dehydration.

**Samus** Sushi time!


	12. Olimar's problems with women

Olimar is with Zelda

Olimar is with Zelda.

**Olimar** Hey baby, you want to go out?

**Zelda** (pause) what?

**Olimar **Oh, come on. You can't resist this body.

**Zelda **You're weird.

**Olimar** Yeah, and you're sexy. NOW TAKE YOUR FXXXIN' SHIRT OFF!!

Zelda transforms into Sheik.

**Sheik** Ha, now you can't rape me.

**Olimar **Why? You actually look even sexier now.

**Sheik **But I'm a male now.

**Olimar** Really?

**Sheik** Yeah, (Sheik touches his/her chest) see I… uh… opps. I guess I am still a woman.

**Olimar** OH YEAH!

**Sheik** But I'm not gonna have sex with you.

**Olimar** Oh, I know why, because I'm already married. Well, screw my wife, I want you!

Ike comes in.

**Ike** NO! NO MORE! We can't take it anymore. No one cares about you Olimar, you shouldn't have your own chapters! I should have my own chapters!

**Olimar** Why?

**Ike** Because (pause) I fight for my friends….

**Olimar** That sounds gay… though it makes sense since Marth is your boyfriend.

**Ike **SHUT UP! _GREAT AETHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!_

Ike kills Olimar with Great Aether.

**Ike** Now… do you want to… hang out with me?

Sheik transforms back into Zelda.

**Zelda **I'm a woman.

**Ike** And I'm bisexual.

**Zelda **Crap. Well, at least you have a large, thick sword.


	13. Ganon's training day

Ganondorf is driving a car with Dark Link ridding shotgun.

**Ganon** So, why are you here?

**Dark Link** I want to be a badass gangster.

**Ganon** No, no. Why are you _really_ here?

**Dark Link** I… (sighs) I want to own a playboy strip club.

**Ganon** There you go. That's what I want to hear. Now, the only way to work underground is if you know the basics. First thing's first, we black brothers have to stick together.

**Dark Link** You look more like a very dark brown than black.

**Ganon** Second rule, don't you dare question your superiors, or your rivals, cause that shit is what will get you killed.

**Dark** **Link **Sorry.

**Ganon** Third rule, don't say stupid crap like 'I'm sorry' or 'come on, pleaaaaase'. You need to look tough, intimidating to your gang and to the city itself. Intimidation is key; it is more useful than mindless killing. If you know how to scare, you will not need to fight. Hold on, I got to stop here.

Ganon stops the car. Dark Link and Ganon get out of the car and see Bowser down a dark alley.

**Ganon** Yo Bowsah, you got my bugs?

**Bowser** Yeah Ganon, I got your shadow bugs. It's the last bag of the week.

Bowser gives Ganon the bag of shadow bugs.

**Ganon** What do you mean, son?

**Bowser** Well, the factory was captured by the police. We are running low. There's no more bug farms.

**Ganon** Oh really? Dark Link, get out a piece of paper. I need you to write something down.

**Dark Link** Ok.

Dark Link gets some paper and starts writing.

**Ganon** 'You bitches better get me that shit asap, I will not tolerate failure. The penalty will be death, and don't think that I'm too soft to kill you. I'll even prove it to you.'

**Bowser** Easy Ganon, we can make more, we just need more time…

**Ganon** Get away from me…

Bowser walks away. Ganon 'kills' him with a Dark Cannon. Bowser's trophy lies on the ground.

**Dark Link** WHAT DID YOU DO?!

**Ganon** Justifiable homicide in the line of duty.

**Dark Link** No, that was murder!

**Ganon **You can't kill anyone in smash brothers. Anyone can be revived if you touch the trophy base, like this.

Ganon accidentally revives Bowser. He shoots Bowser again.

**Ganon **Is there any way to truly kill anyone? Stupid Nintendo…

**Dark Link** I can't believe you! That guy was your friend, and you just keep on killing him!

**Ganon **Why is he my friend? Because he knows my name? Bowser's just a fat turtle with an army of pathetic goombas. The world's a better place without him anyways. Now get your ass back in the car.

**Dark Link** No way man, I'm leaving.

**Ganon** Link! Link! You disloyal fool ass bitch…. You think you can do this shit to me? You think you can do this to me? You tell them what I did, I don't give a damn, because I have news for you… Donkey Kong ain't got shit on me!

**DK** Oh yeah?

DK jumps out of the sky, charging his punch.

**DK **Donkey PUNCH!!

Dk hits Ganondorf with a giant punch. Ganon is sent flying.

**Dark Link** What did you just say?

**DK** Uh… Donkey Punch?

**Dark Link** Oh, disgusting!

**DK** What? What's wrong?

**Dark Link** Just never say that again.

**DK** Well, I won't call it Donkey Kong Punch, it doesn't have the same ring to it.


	14. Wario is a fat bastard

Wario is ridding his bike. He sees Ness, Lucas, Samus and Pikachu.

**Wario** Check out my pimped out ride driven by a pimped out, sexy pimp.

**Samus **Sexy pimp? All I see is a fat bastard.

**Wario** SHUT UP! Wait, are you Samus?

**Samus** Yeah….

**Wario** Oh, you are hot.

Wario uses some breath spray.

**Wario** (thinking) wait, I just had a garlic salad. I would need a lot more….

Wario eats the breath spray. Wario starts hitting on Samus.

**Wario** I like to have a go with that filly. Oh aye. Do you find me sexy? Look at me belly. Once you have fat, you never go back.

**Ness** I thought it was, 'once you go black, you never go back.'

**Lucas **No, you're thinking of, 'once you go black, you want your dignity back.'

**Wario **Shut the hell up! Wait, how come pikachu is teamed up with samus?

**Samus** I like cute little pokemon.

**Pikachu** Pika Piii (And I like boobies.)

**Samus** What?

**Pikachu** Pika! (Nothing.)

**Wario **Oh come on, all the ladies love me!

**Samus** You're a fat, perverted jackass. Get away.

**Ness** Oh, you got dumped!

Wario shoots Ness.

**Pikachu** Pika pika (Oh my god, he killed Ness!)

**Samus** You bastard! Wait, where's Lucas?

**Wario** He ran away like a little pussy.

**Pikachu** Pikachu pika pii pii. (Do you like being an evil lazy ass bitch?)

**Wario** Well, to be honest, I been trying to go legit.

**Samus** What does legit mean?

**Wario** I don't know, but I take my work really seriously you know. No one is buying Wario games do to poor graphics, bad humor, and being a multiplayer party game with no Wi-Fi. But when you're an overweight child, in a spinoff series of Mario, people would just look at one of your games and turn their backs on you.

Wario farts.

**Pikachu **PIIII (OMG, that's disgusting!)

**Samus **Did you just shit your pants or something?

**Wario **Maybe…

**Pikachu **Pika (you're lucky Samus, you're wearing an oxygen mask. I desperately need one.)

**Wario **well, it did sound a little 'wet' didn't it? You know, right in the end there. Oh, it smells like onions, carrots and throw-up.

Pikachu faints.

**Wario **Uh, I should leave now.


	15. Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

The characters of Super Smash Brothers finally meet Tabuu.

**Tabuu** Ah, I see that you brave souls have entered the subspace, defeated my entire army, and destroyed my giant battleship…. with a small dragoon….

**Kirby** Well, we had to, it was an eyesore.

**Snake** Yeah, it looked like a big dick.

**Tabuu** Hey, it's not my fault, Wario was the designer. Well, forget that. You pitiful fools are gonna die from my awesome might.

**Mario** Yeah, who are you?

**Link** I think he's Tron.

**Zelda** No, he looks more like Tron Guy.

**Olimar** Who's Tron Guy?

**Diddy Kong** I think it was some fat guy in a Tron costume.

**Yoshi** What's a Tron?

**Tabuu** SHUT UP!

Tabuu spreads its wings.

**Pit** Oh, you have wings. Not impressive. Besides, what kind of badass fighter would want to have angel wings? It will make you look like a pussy.

**Rob** Look who's talking.

**Pit** (pause) Ah, bullshit…

Tabuu sends out his offwaves, killing all the fighters.

**Mario** Mama mia!

**Meta Knight** This attack is too cheap!

**Pokemon Trainer** Why am I hit? I'm not supposed to be hit! I hide in the background while my pokemon do all my work.

A large explosion causes a cloud of smoke to cover the fighters. However, some of the fighters' trophies are visible.

**Tabuu **Wow, that was easy. Wait a minute…

As the smoke clears, 5 fighters appear, still standing. Ike, Fox, Lucario, Samus and Captain Falcon.

**Tabuu** Um… well, I'll just kill you again.

Tabuu spreads its wings again, but Sonic appears and destroys the wings.

**Sonic** Hey guys, what did I miss?

**Ike/Lucario/Fox** WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!!

**Tabuu** Enough! I might be weakened, but I can still win!

**Ike** Shut up, bitch. GREAT AETHAR!!

Ike performs the Great Aethar.

**Sonic **Why are you so cheap, Ike?

**Ike** Why are _you _so cheap?

**Lucario** Everyone, stand back….

Lucario jumps into the air.

**Lucario** KAMEHAMEHA!!

Lucario performs the Aura Storm/Kamehameha. Tabuu falls to the ground, next to Samus.

**Samus** Hey Tabuu, guess what….

**Tabuu** You're firin your lazah?

**Samus** YOU BASTARD! You stole my line! Now I need a cooler one… I know… KAMEH….

**Lucario** Already taken.

**Samus** You guys are no fun…. I know.

Samus fires her Zero Lazer.

**Samus** IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!

Tabuu is sent flying.

**Sonic** What did that have to do with anything?

**Samus** Can't talk, I'm being electrocuted.

Samus's suit falls off.

**Ike** Oh sweet, you're a sexy naked chick!

**Fox** Ok, mine turn… LANDMASTER!!

Fox summons a Landmaster. The Landmaster crushes Tabuu. Peppy is on the radio.

**Peppy** Fox, do a barrel….

**Fox** I already freakin' know, thank you very much!

Fox does a barrel roll in his Landmaster before shooting Tabuu with the Landmaster's cannon.

**Tabuu** I wanted to lead an army. I wanted to get rid of you Nintendo characters. I wanted to have the world! But is there anything that I can have?

**Lucario** You can have….

**Dedede** MY BIG GAY DANCE!!

Dedede does the caramelldansen. His army of waddle dees attacks Tabuu.

**Sonic** How did you get here?

**Dedede** Long story. Ok Captain Falcon, finish this guy off.

**Captain Falcon** BLUE FALCON!!

The Blue Falcon runs over Tabuu. The Blue Falcon flies high in the air before Captain Falcon jumps out of it.

**Tabuu** I do not die… It will not die!

**Captain Falcon** _FALCON PAWNCH!!_™

Captain Falcon does a big ass FALCON PUNCH

**Sonic** Captain Falcon!!

**Lucario** Fox, what does…

**Fox** My scouter say about his power level? Not this shit again. Wait…. OMG…. IT'S OVER 9,000,000!!

**Ike** WHAT, 9 million? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!

**Tabuu** AHHHH!!

Tabuu disintegrates as the Falcon Punch destroys the fabric of space and time. The explosion becomes too massive to be described.

**Sonic** Hey Chuck Norris, stop over-exaggerating the Falcon Punch, we're on a tight budget. Why do you think the pokemon are still poorly drawn? But seriously, how the hell are you guys so powerful?

**Ike** I fight for my friends….

**Sonic** O rly? What friends?

**Ike** Well, good question….

**Lucario** Well, I am powerful because the aura is with me…

**Sonic** You mean the _force _is with you, you copyrighting piece of shit.

**Peppy** Don't forget Fox's barrel roll!

**Fox** Peppy, SHUT UP!!

**Samus** You guys, what about the dead fighters?

**Lucario** Oh yeah, thanks sexy chick. We should revive everyone.

5 minutes later, the surviving fighters revive the fallen ones and escape subspace. They stare at the ocean.

**Bowser** This is boring.

**Dedede** Well, I know how to cheer everyone up… BIG GAY DANCE PARTY!!

Everyone starts dancing while the song Celebration (Celebrate good times) is played.


End file.
